Loving you always has been

"Loving you
always has been." - Jane 1959

Some stories are sad, while some are just unbearable tragedies. The story which happened to Peter and Jane Smith is what often called miracle-in-tragedy type of story. Born 1939, Peter was the second child in a moderate family. He has a 1-year-older sister named Jane. Their father was a hard-worker, who did the best he possibly could to save his family from hunger and poverty, back in the days. Therefore, the children of the Smiths seemed to have what every child deserves: happiness, love and care. Although everything went exactly like a happy-ending kind of story, the darkest tragedy has not revealed itself yet. Summer 1940, the WWII occurred- a lot of people died. Like the rest of England, the city which they lived was broken into pieces. The same thing happened to the Smiths, their family was torn apart: the little house got hit by a bomb and what left was just dust and ashes. By a miracle, the two children were found alive and brought to a local orphanage on a kind English. Winter 1941, the war, once again, spread deaths and sorrows all across the country. In the chaos, the Smiths children were separated and moved to different areas: Peter in the North while Jane in the South West; both of them were too small to realize what had happened and sadly, did not know the presence of each other at all.

…

It has been already 15 years since the siblings got separated. Peter has now grown up to be a young handsome man with an auburn curly hair and beautiful blue eyes, just like his father. As always seen drawing everything he sees in his small notebook, Peter has a passionate desire towards arts. Despite his strong will to draw, Peter never shows his creations to anyone and has blocked himself to the outside world. Due to unstable situation, Peter can only know her older sister through various letters, which he has been addicted to. Peter remembers clearly the first time he red Jane’s letter, he was crying like a baby and could not believe in his own eyes. Jane has been his motivation, his encouragement and his everything, thought they only know each other through writings. Peter feels something he has never known before, the family bond, the love between family members. Sometimes, the young boy wonders what life could have been if he had parents or if he lived with his sister. But to say it truthfully, Peter thinks he is somehow happy with what he has at the moment: loving and being loved.

…

For 3 years, the two youngsters have sent as many letters as they possibly could, has talked as much as they were able to. Peter feels the strong connection between him and his older sister getting stronger and stronger day by day until one day. It was an ordinary day for Peter, working on the fields and drawing floating clouds-his favorite.

- Pete, you got mail hereeee! _One of the friends of Peter shouts loudly, as he runs down the hill_ How come you always get mails while I don’t Pete? That’s not fair, isn’t it?

- That is, because you always are lazy, Tom. Come on give me that already!

Suddenly, Peter grabs the white bigger-than-usual envelope from Tom and with a quick hand he opens it. The reason why it is bigger and heavier than normal is that inside there is something else. Peter pulls the long and wooden stick-thing out and soon, he realizes it is a paintbrush, a beautiful paintbrush he has always dreamt of.

- You get gifts too. See? _ Tom sighs sadly and sits down heavily on a big rock.

As soon as Peter finishes reading the letter, Tom realizes there is something definitely wrong with him. Peter’s face turns pale and his hands are shaking. He stares at the letter for seconds before starts reading it again several times. Then, Peter runs continuously towards the orphanage, up to his room. Sitting with his back against the wall, the young man whose tears are bursting out down his cheeks, drops the wooden paintbrush with beautifully carved words on its body “Loving you, always has been” rolling on the floor. The letter lies there, next to him, part of it was:

“Dear Peter

My name is Sister Maria of the Sunflower Orphanage. I am sorry to tell you that your sister is in very serious condition. She has…”

…

Struggling with his own emotions and thinking, Peter can not control his temper when shouting at the shopkeeper, who was just trying to sell him some goods. Part of him is filled with anger while the rest is mixed of worries, missing and somehow desperation. For a while, he has been sleepless. Most of the time, Peter just focuses on how to get to his beloved Jane as soon as possible. After walking out of the crowd of the market, Peter continues to follow the road to the dock, where he will go by merchant ships to the South East.

…

It has been 2 days since the last time Peter walks on the land. He has managed to adapt quite well to sea traveling although there are still some difficulties regarding sea sick. Peter feels like he was going the wrong way because the time is getting less while he has not seen any land. Worries almost killed the poor boy. “Oh my Lord, please protect her, please never take her from my life please!”_ Peter looking at the dark stormy sky with one hand holding the paintbrush inside his pocket.

- Everybody gets off the deck immediately. Please go downstairs for your own safety!

Suddenly, the wind is blowing strongly while the rain is also getting heavier and heavier. The sea seems to be a little bit too fierce for the small ship. The storm finally has come. This is an unfair battle of nature and human, the ocean waves almost eat the whole ship on which Peter is going. This is the first time Peter has to deal with such a hard challenge like this; he is shaking with freezing breezes blowing against his already wet clothes. What is amazing is that the only Peter thinking of right now is about his sister. “Is she alright? Will I make it on time? Oh God, I have to be able to get over this!”

…

The last time Peter checked, the paintbrush has not been in his pocket anymore. Peter not only feels like he has lost the most important thing in the world but also blames himself non-stop for such a foolish mistake. Luckily, the ship made it to the harbor at the city in which Jane is. With all the energy he has left, he would not be able to make a single step off the board of the ship, let alone running continuously, which he is doing now. Peter runs and runs the fastest he can, his teardrops falls all over the road. All Peter can think of right now, is about Jane, his last important person in the world. But God is not on Peter’s side this time:

- Sorry, Peter. She has already gone…

His ears hear nothing. His eyes see only the untrue. His hands are useless. His mind goes numb. Peter feels like the world has closed down on him. Then, pain and sorrow takes over any left of his feelings.

…

It has been a while but Peter now can walk on his own. Still that pain, that sorrows but at least now he can act like he could bear it. Walking across the sunflowers in the backyard of the orphanage, Peter wishes as this was just a dream he could wake up from. Peter puts some yellow daisies on the gravestone, as those were Jane’s favorite. And strangely, right at where he put the beautiful daisies, Peter found something he would least expected: Jane’s last gift. Peter stands there for a moment holding the paintbrush tightly in his hand. Finally, he looks up the clouds, grinds a smile and walks away. On the paintbrush, it says:

"Loving you
always has been

always will be."