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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Naida

This took me around about 45 minutes.

Elena wakes up at the break of dawn to prepare herself for another day of relentless work. She gets up, gets dressed, does all the usual things a teenage girl would do, however a small part at the back of her mind tells her today is different, the world will change for her. Nevertheless she carries on her daily rountines and goes downstairs where her burnt toast is awaiting her. Her mother reeks of that god forbidden alcohol and deranged smell of ciagrettes. As she slowly munches on her piece of toast, she sees something flicker out of the corner of her eye yet discards it because her mother has just dropped her mug of coffee.

"Annabelle! Why must you always do that? We don't have enough money to afford another mug!" Elena exasperated.

"Its not my *hiccup* fault! I thought I saw a snake!" Annabelle slurred.

"Snakes don't live in Alaska, its too cold! Don't you ever listen I told you this yesterday! Elena shrieked at her mother.

"Excuse me, dont sho-*hiccup* shout at me, I'm your mother!"

" Well why don't you start ACTING like a mother for once!" Elena yelled and then stormed out of the house in rage, slamming the door behind her.

As she trudged her way to work, she again saw that golden flicker just inside her vision yet, couldnt distinguish what it was. This time she stopped and looked around hoping so could make out what it was. Unfortunately she couldnt so she continued her lumber to work. Since she lived in Alaska, the pavements were always slippery and icy, so she had to walk carefully, however a group of hockey boys were approaching and had those cocky grins on. Elena tried to avoid them, but they were too fast. They pushed her to the ground, face first, where she atea load of snow, ice and sludge and they laughed hysterically, ditching her on the side of the road. She pushed herself onto her hands and knees and wiped her face, only to find her lip swollen and bleeding. In surrender, her head fell forward as she started weeping silently.

After a while she cleared the tears, snot and blood off her face and as she looks up she sees a faery right in front of her. Elena screeches and stumbles backwards onto the ground. The faery flys closer in an confident way and flutters in front of her face and whispers

" Need not be afraid young Elena, I am a faery and it is my solemn duty to protect you."

Baffled Elena trys to recount what faeries are. She could remember her father, before he passed away, mentioning that faeries were elemental creatures and were "spirits of the air" that would act as a sworn protector on who they were assigned to.

"But, but, w-w-why me?"

"Oh young one, hasn't your mother told you? Your father died 5 years ago and was often away, correct?"

"C-c-correct."

Well your father was the personified verison of Poseidon 'God of the Sea' and I have been looking after you for 5 years, however I was only allowed to tell you when you were older, more mature
and depressed with your life."

Completely stunned Elena was trying to sort out the facts she has been given and it sort of made sense because she had read on the news about incarnate versions of Greek Gods, but had never believed HER father to be one.

"O-ok, but your only the size of a pencil, how are you supposed to pro-o-otect me?"


"Ahh young one you have much to learn about my species. For example, my name is Naida meaning 'water nymph' so I have contact with water all the time and you, Daughter of Poseidon have an affinity for water.

"Oh." Was the word Elena could mutter at this time and because she forgot to grab her huge wollen coat, due to coldness, she passed out.

10 years passed and Naida and Elena are as close as ever. Elena has managed to avoid media attention about her title 'Daughter of Poseidon' and now lives with her husband and two children. Her mother died due to liver and lung cancer about 7 years ago. Naida has protected Elena from her mothers alcohol past, the media and of course Daemons for 10 years now and you will always find her right beside her companion and sworn protector for life.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks Rhianne. This has really interesting content but is, I think, structurally flawed.

    First- why do you alternate in tenses? You seem to start in the present but then chop and change.

    The mother was a great character- wanted her developed/ Elena to get revenge on her or something but this does not happen.

    Ending was very static- last paragraph felt like an epilogue.I wonder if some kind of twist or, as you borrow from Greek Mythology, perhaps a moral could have been inserted here.

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  2. Oops i didnt check my tenses!
    I know the ending was horrible because i was on +700 words and u said to not write something that was 2 pages and i was on a page and half so i felt i should end it quickly even though i wanted to expand on the plot and ending.

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  3. .....i thought we were only supposed to write for 15 minutes? hahahah. I see you like writing, rhianne :).

    "Daughter of Poseidon"-> Percy Jackson! :D

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