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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Sophia's - since everyone else is doing a horror :)

Deceived

They took my eyes.

All I see is an empty darkness, where exactly am I? The chirping of birds, the rustling of leaves and the howl of the wind. Where are they coming from? My left? Right? Behind me?

I should’ve known not to go with them, that I’d end up the victim.

Laughter.

I lunged to my right, arms stretched, ready to get my revenge. No one was there. I skid to a stop and there was a sting along my arm but I pushed the pain aside, all I could feel was my anger.

It wasn’t fair that I’d be chosen for this.

More laughter.

All around me, the sounds echoed. They were taunting me! My cheeks burned and I knew they were enjoying it, seeing my fury as I grasped nothing but air.

Again and again I charged forwards. And the louder their laughter grew.

No. I had to calm myself, rage would only entertain them. And then I heard it.

“Left, the closest one is to your left.”

It was soothing, that voice. Calm and gentle but also old and tired, like a wizened grandfather talking to his beloved grandchildren.

The laughing continued, they didn’t hear him.

I smirked, knowing victory was close.

“Take two steps forwards and then another to the right.”

With a growl I jumped forward then twisted to the right and for a second there was nothing. Then I felt it. It wasn’t rough like a branch but warm and soft.

“Tag! You’re it!”

I slipped the cloth off and colour exploded into my world. The air was filled with brilliant laughter, birds excitedly flew above us, the leaves gracefully danced in the wind and I grinned in triumph.

“How did you catch me? You didn’t cheat did you?” Came a playfully annoyed whine.

I laughed back at their curious, irritated faces and glanced up; towering protectively above was the century old Oak tree that had watched over us all these years.

18 comments:

  1. Haahaha
    i like this one
    you start off with since everyone is doing horror
    then you use
    they took my eyes
    then you end with a game of hide and seek
    lol
    i like all the sensory elements all the way through,
    and the transition from hearing to sight as an explosion,
    you expect the explosion to be undesirable but it's beautiful :D

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  2. reminds me of you in fencing
    "i laugh at their irritated faces"
    I smirked, knowing victory was close.With a growl I jumped forward then twisted to the right and for a second there"

    XD

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  3. mmhmm...nice, playful story in which you confound the reader's expectation.

    Tight, simple narrative and take advantage of the genre to show off your descriptive prowess.


    I too, like Annette, can hear elements of 'Sophia Speak' in the story!

    What a lovely gift!

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  4. I thought it'd be perfect to trick you guys like that because everyone else was doing something creepy so far :P

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  5. You'd be surprised, but I LOVED that, Sophia! ~

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  6. You're welcome...
    It's probably you who inspired me, because I wanted to write about the totally different thingy O.O

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  7. Then were you going to originally write a horror thing too?

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  8. not really... And i dont think mind is horror o.o

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  9. not really... And i dont think mind is horror o.o

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  10. no i mean before you read mine and decided to do something different what were you planning?

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  11. Something nice and fairytale-ish...

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  12. huh... that doesn't seem liza-ish at all :D

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  13. I like writing nice ones, though most of the times other people think my stories are not nice at all...

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  14. i expect mass murder and world destruction from your stories

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  15. So I surprised you today? By the way like half of my nice stories are about world destruction in а way...

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  16. Very creative Sophiaaaaa! :D I was tricked by your story too... I thought the girl was blind and being teased by mean people.

    But when I was up to “Left, the closest one is to your left.”, it kinda reminded me of the robot game we played in PE :)) Good laugh for me! :D I love thissss!

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